Selfish
by AspiringAuthorInTraining
Summary: The words rang repeatedly in her head. A constant reminder. Of her unrequited love. That he would never think of her as more. Yes, that was all she was to him. That was all she could ever be to him. She would forever be cursed to watch him from far away, blissfully unaware of the pain he had caused her. So, she disappeared.


She could only stare at him from across the room, with an unconscious frown.

"You're my best friend, (Y/N)."

The words rang repeatedly in her head. A constant reminder. Of her unrequited love. That he would never think of her as more.

Yes, that was all she was to him. That was all she could ever be to him. She would forever be cursed to watch him from far away, blissfully unaware of the pain he had caused her.

So, she disappeared.

Far away. Cut off all contact with everyone she knew.

It was harsh, but her friends were his friends as well, and she wouldn't be able to separate herself from him entirely if she had kept contact. They would get over it. He would get over it.

She would get over him, eventually.

With her savings, she had decided to travel the world. Maybe meet a fellow along the way, that would make her forget what she was running away from. But it was hard, when everything reminded her of him.

She had only planned for her escapade to last a month, at most. She had to return eventually. She had a life, a job to get back to. And she didn't think she was that desperately in-love with the man. But as the final week approached, she continued to feel dread as her feelings remained unchanged.

(Y/N) stood at the back door of the cottage she had rented for the last week before her supposed return, listening to the soft sound of the rain. She had always loved the sound, soothing her from her worries. A sad tinge arose her thoughts — reminding her of all the times Remus dragged her to the tower when she was stressed, with hot chocolate waiting for them, because he knew she loved listening to the rain.

She had stood there for about ten minutes, when she heard pounding at the front door.

The owner had told her that the area was secluded and that she wouldn't need to worry about any unwanted visitors. Frowning, she grabbed her wand from the side table, just in case, on her way to the door.

The pounding hadn't stopped, only growing more frenetic with each step she took. Opening the door, who she saw on the other side made her freeze.

Outside, in the pouring rain, stood a drenched and furious Remus Lupin. If his attempt at pounding a hole into the door wasn't obvious of his anger, his expression sure was.

"R-Remus? What are you doing here?"

He scoffed in response. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here, (Y/N)!"

She flinched at his harsh reply, never once seeing him this angry. She backed away from him trying to think of a response, as he stepped closer to her.

Now that he was inside, out of the rain - what she initially thought was rain, were actually tears.

"How could you?" He seethed, closing in on her. "How could you leave without a single note behind! You disappeared without telling anyone where you were going, what you were doing — if you were even alive!"

"Remus, I-" He ignored the explanation she tried to give.

"How could you be so selfish?! You promised! We made a promise to always be there for each other. You were the one person who never lied to me. And then one day, I find you gone."

(Y/N) was now backed up against a wall, with Remus barely an inch away from her. In any other situation, they would have looked like lovers about to snog.

"How could you be so selfish?" He repeated, his eyes burning into hers.

Her eyes were ablaze at his accusation, her attempt to explain forgotten. If he wanted to have a spat, he was going to get one.

"Selfish?" She roared. "I have always put your needs before mine, Remus."

"Yeah right."

"No! You don't get to talk right now." She heatedly pointed her finger at his chest, accusingly. "Every time you had your monthly change, I couldn't sleep. I stood by the medical ward waiting in fear of any new scars, and if you would be able to wake up the next day. Every time you had your heart broken from a relationship, I was the one who skipped class or called in sick to work so that you wouldn't be alone."

"I never asked you to do any of that!"

"You're right, you didn't! But every time your heart broke, mine did too." Tears sprang uncontrollably from her eyes, unable to quell them any longer. "I didn't want to be hung up on my best friend. I wanted to have some one who felt the way I did about them, and appreciated what I did for them. But how could I, when you kept coming back to me, not letting me move on."

He froze at her confession, his face rid of any previous anger.

"You said I was selfish?" She weakly asked. "If that means being able to move on from you and find someone that I deserve, then yes, I am selfish. And I will continue to be selfish. So please," She managed through her tears. "leave."

*(A/N): What do you guys think? Let me know! It's so angsty, I love it. Let me know if you want a second part!


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